Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Glass? What Glass?

Ohmigosh. Has it been over a month since I've posted a blog?? Yep. That's because so much has been happening and very little inspired thinking going on. Or, maybe it's more of the same ol' same ol' so I don't want to beat a dead horse. Aaand dance on it's grave. That's just not right. But, you know, I can't help it, sooooo…loan mod, bankruptcy, love, accidents.

In fact, if I were my old, pessimistic self, I'd take a good hard look at these last 8 months and accuse myself of being born under a bad sign. Great song, btw. (Of course, we all know Leos are the Royalty of the zodiac, so that's not really true…but even so, icky stuff happens to us royal pains in the ass).

Let's look at this with a couple different kinda glasses, shall we?

GLASS IS HALF EMPTY
Right around January/February I fell oh-so-freakin' hard for a guy – honestly…I've NEVER felt that way about anyone before. I so, so, SO much wanted to take time to get to know him…learn about him slowly. Savor him. Learn his likes, dislikes, fears, joys, moods…discover what I do that makes him happy, what I do that makes him pissy…wanted to be his first thought in the morning, last at night and the whole lot in between. Wanted nothing more than to look into his gorgeous eyes, melt at his heart-breakingly breath-taking smile...walk hand in hand in the park, sit by the ocean watching the stars, read books on the couch, talk over coffee, spend entire weekends in bed together. *sigh* Too bad he doesn't feel the same. OUCH. Yuuuuup. Yup. This girl got shot by Cupid BUH-AD. Little bastard. Next time I see him, I'm gonna bitchslap the little diaper-wearin' freak-of-nature. Cupid that is. In case you were wondering which "him" I was talking about.

In April someone jacked my checking account info and stole $700...charging up a storm at walmart.com. That's how I KNEW more than anything that I hadn't spent the money all in one night in a retail therapy blackout. At that same time I was all set to fly out on my first international trip EVER for my life-long dream-trip to Ireland and KABLOOIE…Iceland exploded. Silly Iceland. Trip postponed! That is, until….

…..May arrived and I had to use all my trip money to replace my transmission in my car.

I can't remember if that was before or after  I broke my toe walking into a rock, which made my…

…Camp Pendleton Mud Run in June OUT…couldn't run on my newly healed piggy. Hey. I ain't no Jerry Rice. There will be no cutting off digits to finish the second half for THIS wussy girl.

With all this crap on my mind, no wonder I rear-ended a lady in the intersection end of June….we were both at a red light, completely stopped. Green light, she goes, I go. She stops. I don't stop. Rats. Now the dumb broad is claiming "bodily injury" for a fender-bender that caused NO damage (I have pictures!!). Hmmmph.

July hit and that was my best friend's birthday. But not anymore because SHE'S DEAD. That's a total bummer.

So here we are in August…my bankruptcy was on hold till my loan modification is finalized, except now the loan mod is declined because the stupid Orange County Recorder's Office TWICE rejected the paperwork…the LAST WEE BIT of paperwork the financial peeps needed… and BAM. I missed the deadline. Speaking of missing…

…the dude on the 215 last Saturday FAILED to miss me when he changed lanes without looking and hit me. I USED to have a car that only looked somewhat crappy. Now I'm one of those poor schlubs with duct tape holding parts of it together.

BUT NO!!!!!! I'm NOT gonna focus on all the negative stuff. Gonna focus on the positive stuff.

GLASS IS HALF FULL
After my divorce I thought I'd never fall in love again. I'd been hurt so much for so long, that I just figured I'd never be able to let loose with those emotions ever again. Yet I found myself falling for someone; it happened and there was nothing I could do to stop it, no matter how hard I tried. You know "Standing Outside the Fire" by Garth Brooks? I found out that's me. I can still love. Haven't put a steel wall up around my heart. So if I walk away with nothing more than that…that I am still willing to risk pain for the chance at truly loving someone with all my heart and having them love me the same way…then it was worth it.

The stolen money and equal amount of transaction/overdrawn fees (coming to a whopping $1100 total) was quickly returned by my bank. I LOVE my bank. They're good people. And a week after my trip was cancelled, my boss told me I was going to Quebec, Canada on business. I've since been there twice with a third trip in September. See…I didn't get my passport for nothin'! What a beautiful place Quebec City is. I want to go back someday, for pleasure.

Hey…if I had gone to Ireland and spent all my money, I'd have no car right now. (And who knows whose car would've been hit by 215 Schmuck if I didn't have my little green-weanie car?) The fact that I shelled out $1300 for a transmission which was same amount of money I paid for my trip…well, that's not a coincidence in my book.

Toe healed. What else can I say? I don't have to wear the grey orthopedic boot anymore! Just because I missed my first CP Mud Run THIS year, doesn't mean I'll have to miss it NEXT year.

As for miss bodily injury girl…like I said, I got PICTURES of her "no damage" rear-end (no, not her butt…her car). And my insurance company will happily decline her claim if they can. More to come on that.

And my friend Kerrie? Well, I've learned to be philosophical about her death and have healed tremendously. I have lots of gratitude for my life. For more on this read my previous blog Happy Birthday Kerrie Ann. Besides, MY birthday was also in July and I had a great pool party with lots of wonderful friends. Who could ask for more?

Good news on the loan mod…I now have ALL the paperwork they need and they said I can reapply!. Hopefully it'll go through and we can get the bankruptcy on the road.

The schmuck that hit me was at least a nice, honest schmuck. He claimed full responsibility for hitting me and as I type my car is in the bodyshop and I'm driving a rental. Considering my stereo got stolen out of my car 4 years ago and I never replaced it, I am SO THRILLED to have a car with a radio and cd player! YAHOO!! And, they're painting two panels of my car....so,  it'll look nice from the front left at least.

WHERE THE HELL IS THE GLASS?
So you see? It's all how you look at things.  I'll admit some days it seems like someone took my frickin' glass altogether. *looks around...oh...there it is. In the dishwasher...* But. When I really consider all the wonderful things in my life…like my daughters, my family, my friends, my job…the fact I STILL have a condo and a car TODAY…life is nice. Chaotic. Dramatic. Funny. Interesting. NICE. Life with me will NEVER be boring, that's for sure.

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