Friday, January 20, 2012

Sleeping With The Fishes

What would YOU do in a room like this?

My first thought, what an incredible place to have a romantic weekend getaway in!!

My second thought, wow, I could NOT get comfortable…you know…with…doing…you know, romantic weekend getaway stuff WITH THOUSANDS OF FISH STARING AT ME!

My third thought went something like this:

Imagine a conversation between two fish out of a thousand, staring at an…amorous…couple in an underwater glass bedroom:

Bobfish:    Hey, Joefish, we got another couple of weirdos down here! 

Joefish:    HOW in the ocean do they do that?? And why? It looks messy.

Bobfish:    And painful. Hey…* heh heh * …tap the glass… * heh heh* 

Joefish:    You MORON!! I told you last time: NO FINGERS!! You WERE the egg at the bottom of the bunch, weren't you...

Bobfish:    Ok, ok…c'mon…FWAP the glass with your tail. Cmon! It's FUNNY. Make 'em move...

Joefish:    They ARE moving...

Bobfish:    PLEEEEEEEEZE????

Joefish:    ohmigoldfish…Fine! *fwap fwap fwap*

(Humans fall off bed)

Bobfish:    Dude. That CRACKS me up…*swims in circles really really fast* C'mon…let's go find some rocks to spit...

end scene.

I must share my fourth thought, which was "to hell with the fish, what about scuba divers with cameras?"

My fifth thought, was:  How'd you like to wake up with a shark hovering over your head. "Oh, good morning Mr. Shark! Why, yes, I do smell like peanut butter and see, we had a food fight last night... What? You LIKE humans who taste of PB and J? Hey...why don't you go eat Bobfish...he's annoying as hell. By the way, how can you smell through plexiglass?"

I have weird thoughts. I know.

By the way, this is a room in the Maldives at the Conrad Maldives, Rangalli Island and costs a mere $11,700 a night. For that price you'd better believe I would throw every inhibition to the wind! I'd be all "cmON fish get an eyeful!!!" I'm a brazen hussy.

With weird thoughts.

So, in conclusion, I'd just like to say that as a scuba diver and a hopeless romantic, I'd find the underwater bedroom quite interesting both inside AND out :).

And, in final conclusion conclusion, as my friend pointed out, in some places, sleeping with the fishes has a whole different meaning.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Physically and Emotionally Bent

Well...the stresses of life have taken their toll on me. I have made no attempt to hide the fact that I have dealt with depression off and on in my life. I have seen various counselors at various times to cope with life's heavier burdens and it seems now is one of those times.

I seem to be losing my regular ability to cope with everything going on. My home is still in short sale, i still don't know when the bank will lower the boom on me but when they do I have to spring into action to find a place to live. Til then I just go on with living where I live in a kind of surreal limbo...not packed because I don't know how long I would have to live out of boxes... Not worried outwardly because what's the point? But its taking a toll on me, undoubtedly. That is becoming clearer and clearer to me.

Things at work are beyond stressful. I am on the radar and can only do my best by keeping my head down and working and trying not to make mistakes.

Plus I have had a spate of bad luck with physical issues so my normal routine (and stress reliever) of being active both outdoors and in the gym is hampered. I can't tell you exactly how or when but after my back surgery I became...more aware of my mortality. And more cautious in my existence each day. That's not a good frame of mind for loving life and spontaneity. I feel older than I really am for the first time in my life.

And, my ex, who historically blames me for all his problems, is harassing me to lower his child support payments. He pays very little as it is and I had it done through the court because he has always been a whiner about paying me money. Thing is he views it as "my money" and not his kids money. I pay for their health insurance, all their medical care, their school uniforms, their food, and eventually their after school care. If he wants to pursue it let him. I will let him stand in line at the courthouse, like I did for our divorce, let him fill out the paperwork and pay for the filing, like I did for our divorce, and sit in negotiations with all my paperwork and will abide by the court's decision. What he doesn't realize is that he may end up owing more money than he pays.

But I can only pray to God for strength and faith and courage and hope that counseling will give me an additional coping mechanism to deal with everything. Because I am constantly sick to my stomach and often on the verge of tears and I just feel so overwhelmed right now.

The good news is that I may be bent but I am not broken. Thanks to my friends, family and faith.