Friday, July 13, 2012

Mommy's in the 21st Century

You would think as a graphic designer and blogger (even an occasional video blogger) and ultra-Facebooker that I would have some sweet home office tucked away, industrially cool, white/grey/black stuff, meshy chairs, clean, neat desk and lots of doodles magnetically tacked to my brushed metal wall decor.


I have an old (4 or 5's like 100 in dog years) computer that is so crammed full of crap and old op systems I gave up trying to work on it AGES ago. It sits on one of those plastic folding tables and doubles as a clean (sometimes dirty) clothes rack. And by "rack" I mean buried under crap I don't feel like hanging up/put in drawers. Besides, I should have held a memorial service the day I couldn't even drag work from a CD-ROM onto the desktop. Honestly, all it would take is for me to hack up a couple hundred to get it up to, dare I say "speed", but I work with CS5.5 which would cause my once glorious and shiny computer to scream like a little girl and explode. I am going to have it cleared out and add memory, etc., to it and then let my elementary school-age kids use it for school reports and Solitaire.

Besides, I don't even have internet at home.



(Is that your mocha chocca latte sprayed everywhere??)

I can hear you now: "What's this "not have internet" you speak of? Even homeless people have internet!!"

What can I say?? After the ex left, we had joint custody of our laptop for about 5 stinkin' minutes and then it was his. Blah blah. Whatever.

Without a working computer in the house and another income, I gave up on extras like internet. Besides, who needs it with smartphones these days? People with REALLY BAD EYESIGHT, that's who!

I think I have gone blind in the last three years trying to read my Facebook on my teeeeeensy Blackberry screen.

As for blogging, well, I attempted – as noted in previous entries – to try my hand with my iPad to type out some blogs. Not so great without the 100 dollar keyboard. Ugh. Stoopid touchscreen keys. Clearly my blogging I have only posted what, 1 flippin' blog in three months? Interestingly enough I have not had all of humanity clamoring at and picketing my doorstep demanding I come back to blogspot. Srsly? What the hell is wrong with you people anyway? *tsk #crossingarmsandlookingaway.


And, again, as I have ESP (or a very clear understanding of how very self-serving all this is), I know you are now thinking, "What's the point of this diatribe?" It's to say: "YAY!! I put my big girl panties on and bought a laptop all for myself!!"

*Smacks table with hand, by-gum.

I'm not giving details on make and model, though I have to say when I utter specific letters in succession, like "I" and "B" and "M" I gack a little involuntarily. Sometimes, even on purpose.

So, here I am, busting my new fruity laptop keyboard with this completely innocuous blog entry. The good news is I am really hoping this will get me to start writing regularly again.

Is it a curse, a blessing? Ah. You say tomato, I say tomato. Wait, what?

Awwwww, it's soooo nice to be back. I don't care what all you people running away are screaming about.