Sunday, December 9, 2012

Herry Kwanzannakahmas

If you were so inclined, you could go back to last year's blog right around this time and read all about my dark humor and Christmas cheerlessness. I was bah-humbugging all over the place. I only resorted to buying a tree and ornaments the week before Christmas because I was acutely aware that since my kids cohabit with me, it was pretty selfish to spread my moroseness all over their Christmas joy. Besides, I had no desire to go into the garage and haul out the enormous boxes holding our "big" tree and all the decorations. Some of the reasons were physical (I had just had back surgery a couple months before) but most were emotional: I didn't want to drag out reminders of archaic happier times as a whole family. So last year  I had to force-feed myself Christmas music, movies and decorations in a desperate attempt to regain the warm fuzzy feelings I used to have for this time of year.

All that Christmisery was because I was naive enough to get married in the month of my favorite holiday of all time.

Silly me, thinking that the joyous pairing of Christmas and Marriage would last. My advice to anyone right now is DO NOT GET MARRIED IN THE MONTH OF YOUR FAVORITE ANYTHING! If you are a football fan (in the United States), don't get married in September or January. If you are Irish (in the good ol' USofA), avoid nuptials in March. Love trees??? Then leave Arbor Day and April alone for God's sake (I don't think Americans even know this day exists). 

Were I to do this marriage thingy all over again, I would definitely pick a month that I hate to get married. Like August. August is my least liked month out of the whole calendar year. It's hot!  Unbearably so. And it's the end of summer. Face it, if you're a parent, by the time August rolls around, you're chomping at the bit for school to start. You cannot wait for August to be finished. Obviously for kids, well, the end of summer stinks for completely different reasons.  Either way August = blech and I just want it to be over with from, literally, day 1. August is like the month's equivalent to the week's Thursday. It's like this: July is all fireworks and watermelon, September is Football kickoff and back to school. Wednesday gets to be Hump Day and Friday is so awesome it even has God associated with it (TGIF). See? Thursday and August are just there, shlubbing along twiddling their thumbs in the chair in the corner while good times happen either before or after them.

Now I am actually feeling a little sorry for August and Thursday.


Ok, so my point is that my divorce kind of ruined Christmas for me for a couple years...more like three to be exact. But this year is different. This year I had all my decorations up by December 1st. Heck, my ex even helped haul out the decorations from the garage for me. I've been singing Christmas carols in the shower. Ok, maybe too much information there. Thing is, this is the first time since our divorce that I have felt happy in December. Yesterday would have been my anniversary and I wasn't depressed or angry. It was on my mind, but in the background. I went about my business, getting laundry done, going to the gym, watching movies and spending quiet time alone (the girls were at their dad's). This is the first time my anniversary hasn't spoiled my love of Christmas. This time...there is no force-feeding myself Christmas Cheer and I have resolved to spend each day enjoying the spirit of the season. I refuse to be time-warped into New Years by all the t.v. commercials and retail marketing (honestly, I am expecting to see Peeps and Cadbury Eggs in the aisles any day now). 

My kids and I made ornaments, we have cuddled on the couch enjoying fires in the fireplace and colored lights throughout our little home, and have enjoyed watching our favorite Christmas movie classics and discovering new ones. 

To me this is the greatest Christmas gift of all. It's not how much I spend or what I get, it's how I feel. To be happy and content with my girls, with my family. I couldn't ask for much more than that. 

Well, I mean, a winning Mega Millions ticket would be TOTALLY awesome. But all those millions still wouldn't be equal to what I feel in my heart and soul right now. 

So thanks God and little baby Jesus (and the Pagans...cmon, without them we wouldn't have yule logs or Christmas trees or December 25 as a day to celebrate) for all the wonderful joys of Christmastime. So. Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Channukah, Blessed Winter Solstice and Merry December. That should cover it all, right?? 


  1. It's amazing how things can change in a year and change your perspective on things.

  2. And that, my friend, is why I love to journal and blog. It is always amazing to look back and see where I was and delightful to note how my thinking has changed. :)

  3. I've removed a lot of the blogs I wrote when I went through my "dark" period but I still have the original word document they were written on. I look back on them now and then and I see how much things have changed and how more positive I've become.


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