Friday, March 1, 2013

Turdy Is (NOT) As Sturdy Does


Sometimes I just want to slap some people and shout, “WAKE UP!! LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE MISERABLE!”

I’m so flippin’ preachy. Thing is I am the first to laugh at myself  because I have reached professional levels of morbid reflection, falling prey to worry and succumbing to insecurities. So who am I to preach?

Yet again, this question spurred  on a whole thought process of why can’t we all just switch Happy on and go out there and have happiness every day and achieve the things we want and be content with what we get?

I almost don’t know what to say next. (But you know me better than that...come on now...)

I feel like I don’t know what to say next because I subscribe to the philosophies of Law of Attraction, Manifestation, Power of Positive Thinking and the like.  So to say anything other than positive is like raining down the doom of Mordor on my sweet life, so that I am a quakey little miss standing rooted to the ground thinking “I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts” (any X fans reading this??) because if I do those bad thoughts will come true so I must think good thoughts but then why am I not a billionaire, married to the perfect man and happily, madly in love with the perfect romantic traveling life???? 

I have a fulltime thinker installed in my head and it really is a chore to get it to stop working. I have tried reading books about not thinking and I can’t get past the part where it says I have to stop thinking. I just don’t get it. Yet. I have hope. There’s always hope. Until then, I think often and fiercely so let’s get back to my original question: Wait. My original question was, “Who am I to preach?” So...let’s get back to the next question: Why can’t we all just switch Happy on?

I think (hahahahaaaaaaaa) that is because most of us in this world have a thinking problem. Our thinking was and is shaped by every life event we have ever created for ourselves and by our parents and teachers and other children, by television, music and films...everything we see and hear has a part to play in why and how we think. Stripping all that away takes time, discipline, practice. A lot of us (me included) are too busy or impatient to get to that spiritual point of not thinking. Some even walk around not realizing their problem IS their thinking and therefore will never get the benefit of actually driving themselves crazy trying to unthink.

I don’t know what is better. Black and White or all kinds of shades of Grey? (No I haven’t read the book(s) yet). Black and White is either or. If I’m not happy I am sad. If the situation isn’t (insert description), then I will behave like (insert reaction).  Grey is all kinds of crazy possibilities. Sometimes, in my case, too many. I analyze to the point where I have forgotten the question and then just go eat chocolate.

We spirits in human form are complex beings, wouldn’t you say? Some of us are just happy, some of us struggle to be happy, some of us never achieve real happiness ever and die miserable.

I know the key lies in being grateful for the things I have been given and have earned in my life. But it doesn’t have to stop there. The next step is to allow myself to go bigger and better. “But that makes you a hypocrite!!” I can hear you shout from across the globe. Ah, caveat there.  It is possible to have true gratitude for life as it is, AND to dream for more. It’s like that bullcrap line “You can’t have faith and fear at the same time.” Oh, I am here to tell you you can. Sometimes I have a little fear and a LOT of faith, sometimes vice versa. But I have both. I AM striving to have more faith than fear on a regular basis. but that’s another blog. 

I do also know this: I CAN choose how to feel, and that IS conducted through my thoughts AND actions.

That bears repeating because it is so important: I can choose how I feel. How I feel is conducted through my thoughts and ACTIONS. I almost passed up a golden opportunity to focus on that little nugget.

Manifestation believers say our thoughts have power. Yes, I believe they do. But thought alone isn't going to kill (or make) us. ACTION that follows thought is what puts the whole shindig into play. Good thoughts + positive action = happy results. Bad thoughts + negative action = not happy results. Confused thoughts + opposite actions = neutral results. Confused thoughts + sloth = weight gain and channel surfing. No life lived there my friends.

So if I think/say I’m a piece of shit and I ACT like a piece of shit, then I am definitely a turd. If I choose to focus on being ok today... if I choose a thought process that promotes me being happy today,  I am accepting today for how it is, and my actions follow through with those thoughts and utterances, then I’m not so turdy.  I am, however, sturdy. See what I did there? I know that was kind of stupid, but I’m leaving it in.


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