Monday, April 1, 2013

A is for ACTION


Is for ACTION

Here I am. A little late, but taking action nonetheless. I signed up for this A-Z thing and I'm ornery just enough to not let a little thing like a 15 minute window of downtime to keep me from doing what I pledged to do.

Action: doing something. Right? That's my definition anyway. Look I don't even have time to get all uppity with the dictionary right now to give a more academic definition. 

Today has been a busy day. I woke up, got to work on time, actually DID work, did some committee meet and greet stuff as part of employee appreciation day, talked to a couple people who needed to talk, and at 4:30 drove 30 minutes to hang with some more friends who needed to talk, dropped the rent check off on one side of town and deposited checks for me at the bank on the OTHER side of town. Drove home, made the kids' beds, made a smoothie for me for dinner and bam. Here I am.

Taking action is the only thing I know to do when there's stuff to do. That sounds weird, but for me, there was a time when I was so paralyzed with fear about the actions I had to take in my life...simple actions like, say, opening the mail, or answering the 800 phone call...that I couldn't do those little things.

Over the last few years I have consistently placed myself in the middle of an improbable sanctuary of cussing, smoking, coffee-drinking angels who helped me walk through a bunch of fear. And anger. And self-loathing. From those people, I learned how to face life - and the (melodrama warning): disastrous situations I had created for myself.  I stopped ignoring what frightened me and just started facing it. Slowly but surely I dug my way up and out of the mess and each time I faced a fear it became easier to do next time. And then I got to be there for friends who face the same fears I did and let them know how I did it. 

Sometimes the action I took felt (and I have written about this before) like I had my legs shackled to cinderblocks. But I kept standing the hell up, and dragging one foot forward and then the other and the other. 

Never did I have to do this alone. I always had friends, family and an ever-increasing belief and reliance on God that carried me through the toughest time of my life. My entire blog is riddled with the details so I dare you to find them ;) My friends and family taught me courage: action in the face of fear. And for that I am eternally grateful.

Now. My kids are home. It's time for me to take the next action item: pay attention to THEM and cuddle. 

Talk to you tomorrow.

Kris


4 comments:

  1. That's a good word. Not just doing something, but doing something with a purpose. Of course, there is no better action than paying attention to and cuddling kids.
    Good luck with A to Z!

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  2. Action! I love this post because I've felt like you before. I've been paralyzed by fear for too long for good things (like being scared of going to an event where people like you). Let's do our best.

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  3. Sounds like you had a busy day yesterday.

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  4. Thank you for visiting!! And yes @emmlyjane I had a very busy day that day. :)

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