Tuesday, April 9, 2013
H is for HUMBLE
Humility. Being humble. Being humbleD. At some point in my life, a long time ago, I don't know when, a princess chip was wired into my brain. The result has been a truly misplaced sense of entitlement that would make Her Royal Majesty blush. I have been working diligently the last few years to right-size myself. I am at my worst when I am in a line at the grocery store or in traffic. I've written about this before. I have terrible line karma. One day there occurred a particularly shocking event in which I exalted in getting behind a lone woman without a cart, only to be crushed the instant her husband, for whom she was saving a spot, showed up with a piled-over shopping cart. I reckoned I would be there for days. I huffed, rolled eyes, whispered loudly, grumbled until finally she had the NERVE to say snark back, to which I belted...LET IT GO ALREADY! Oh I was PISSED. Pissed pissed pissed. And it held me in its grip for the entire car-trip home.
I am SUCH an ASS sometimes.
Good news is, I was able to use that as a scenario about how NOT to behave (yes. *cringe* my kids were with me....and believe me, they are learning from me...good and bad). I said yes it was annoying that the woman did that but there's no law or rule saying that she can't. I was just angry because I thought I'd be out of the store in short order versus standing in line for 10 minutes (they had a LOT of small stuff to buy).
We went to another store en route, and lo and behold it happened again. Just as I was heading to the short line, a couple shoppers beat me to it. ARE YOU FRICKIN' KIDDING ME.
Then it dawned on me. Maybe it's a lesson God is wanting me to learn about patience. I hate lessons about patience. They usually involve waiting. But the lesson was not lost. I had that moment of clarity and am grateful for it. I can remember that the next time and see if I can attain some semblance of composure and dignity next go 'round.
It is important for me to remember every day that I am a human among humans, a worker among workers. That to be a friend is to do the things for other people you would like to have friends do for you. I must always realize that I have an opportunity each day to spread kindness rather than anger or frustration (oh, dear Lord, I fail miserably often. How do nice people do it??) I need always remember that humility doesn't mean I am a doormat, nor must I bow down to others and meekly allow them to run roughshod over me. It is to be connected on a soul level, human to human, on a daily basis. When connecting in THAT manner – and not the what do you wear, drive, earn status that provides false pride – I am beautifully equal. And so is everyone else.