Tuesday, April 16, 2013
N is for NOTHING
Typically I would be pouring words into a post about what I'm going through, but I've been through it so many times before I feel like I am just tired of writing about it. So, I am processing feelings, painful ones, and experience has proven to me that I will get through this. That is good. Hope is always good. It's the process that hurts. So when I say N is for NOTHING...I was so tempted write nothing, as a statement (like a blank canvas that hangs in a gallery with a ridiculous tag on it), but I can't just do that. I have to have some sort of explanation for not posting a decent piece. I just don't have to go in to details about it.
So....symbolically N still is for nothing since I am not putting my usual 10,000 words into it. I tell you what. Go back to previous posts...like "Gag Order," "Road of Life," and especially "True What" to get an idea. Yeah. Heart broken. Again.
ADDENDUM: I think it isn't so much the guy as it was the dream being lost again. If I am worried what you all think of me, perhaps I should stop getting so personal here.
Naaaaah. This is my outlet. My therapy. Exposing my vulnerabilities here and knowing the world might just chalk me up to "that crazy lady in the OC" is just another risk I take to process through my life on a daily basis. I guess I have to just keep kissing frogs til the right man stands up and says, "I think you're 100% wonderful." Not 50% wonderful, not 98% wonderful, but 100% wonderful. Someone who will accept my flaws because the way he feels when I am around is worth taking a risk for. Because I am the sum of a whole bunch of good parts. By the way, if someone meets someone who is 100% perfect, let me know, as I'd like to write a book about them. I'll make millions!