Tuesday, April 16, 2013

N is for NOTHING

Typically I would be pouring words into a post about what I'm going through, but I've been through it so many times before I feel like I am just tired of writing about it. So, I am processing feelings, painful ones, and experience has proven to me that I will get through this. That is good. Hope is always good. It's the process that hurts. So when I say N is for NOTHING...I was so tempted write nothing, as a statement (like a blank canvas that hangs in a gallery with a ridiculous tag on it), but I can't just do that. I have to have some sort of explanation for not posting a decent piece. I just don't have to go in to details about it.

So....symbolically N still is for nothing since I am not putting my usual 10,000 words into it. I tell you what. Go back to previous posts...like "Gag Order," "Road of Life," and especially "True What" to get an idea. Yeah. Heart broken. Again.

ADDENDUM: I think it isn't so much the guy as it was the dream being lost again. If I am worried what you all think of me, perhaps I should stop getting so personal here.

* thinking.

Naaaaah. This is my outlet. My therapy. Exposing my vulnerabilities here and knowing the world might just chalk me up to "that crazy lady in the OC" is just another risk I take to process through my life on a daily basis. I guess I have to just keep kissing frogs til the right man stands up and says, "I think you're 100% wonderful." Not 50% wonderful, not 98% wonderful, but 100% wonderful. Someone who will accept my flaws because the way he feels when I am around is worth taking a risk for. Because I am the sum of a whole bunch of good parts. By the way, if someone meets someone who is 100% perfect, let me know, as I'd like to write a book about them. I'll make millions!

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